43452

Joke of the Day

"A local restaurant is having an election special... You get two small breasts, two fat thighs, and one left wing. Side-note: don't like Trump either don't obliterate me."

"My girlfriend wants a chest freezer for Christmas... I said ""Why? It's cold as tits outside already!"""

"What do you call the angel in charge of hydroelectrics? A God dam engineer."

"What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes? I won't be an accessory to this."

"What STD is found most commonly among lesbians? Carpet burn"

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do... And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down'."

"*do a little dance* *make a little love* *get kicked out of this funeral*"

"I knew she'd been working at the foundry... because I smelter."

"What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and your mom? Biggie loves it when you call him Big Poppa, while your mom just loves it when you call."

"Did you hear that a survivalist got roasted yesterday about his unemployment? Yeah, a Bear Grilled Bear Gryll's Bare Bills"