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Joke of the Day

"I'm coming out of the closet. Not that! I mean her husband finally left for work."

"What's a terrorists favorite sports team? The new York jets."

"I like my coffee like I like my woman... No pubic hair."

"I saw a gay midget the other day I thought wow that's a little queer"

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear (buccaneer)."

"A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front: Let me put my tool in your mouth... and on the back: ...and I will fill your cavity."

"[Christopher Nolan on the set of Batman Begins] Great Batman voice, Christian! Terrific stuff! [aside] maybe Batman shouldn't talk"

"Why was the iPhone 7 so embarrassed? He was caught jacking off."

"What sort of an act do you do? I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else? Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth."

"One of the great pleasures of living in a city is walking by a pile of bloody clothes and thinking, ""Someone else will take care of this."""