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Joke of the Day

"why do blacks like the doctor's office? they operate on black time! 2:00 appointment? pfft show up at 3:30 you'll be straight"

"You're the apple of my eye. The grape of my elbow. The lemon of my foot. The banana of my hair. My sweet hair banana."

"Vladimir Putin is dressing up in a taco costume... I guess you could say he was Putin' on the Ritz."

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he killed Hitler."

"I consider myself a dog person I love ass in my face"

"What do a 45 year old pregnant alcoholic and Ironman have in common? Both have a little Downy Jr in them."

"Did you hear about the mexican train killer? He had locomotives."

"I like my drinks like I like my women. Whatever's available."

"This line for the bathroom at Starbucks is longer than kim kardashians whole marriage."

"A Gingerbread Man Veteran ...lost his legs in 'Nom"