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Joke of the Day

"Reddit is like a shiny, new penny... It's fun to look but completely worthless! - Edit: Wow, front page! :D Edit 2: Oh crap, nvm. I was still on the new submissions page lol. forever alone"

"What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow."

"Did you hear about the new strain of bird flu? Chirpees... a canarial disease... un-tweetable."

"Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond? He was taking a sheet."

"My mental health is like a rainbow All over the spectrum"

"A good pickup line is ""I have a phone charger."""

"Why are the steaks so high? Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field."

"Jokes are like food... Not everyone gets it."

"Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you're so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?"

"Holy lord, that sneeze felt so good I feel like I just cheated. I even named it Stan to further delude myself. I'm such a bad girl!"