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Joke of the Day
"whats worse than a dead cat on the piano? a diseased beaver on your organ..."
Next Joke
"DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again"
"""You know what they say about blind prostitutes?"" ...""You've really got to hand it to them."" -Fred Willard"
"Coworker: it's dark already Me: I know, Dan. I have eyes CoW: it's only 5 'o clock Me: I KNOW DAN CoW: it's early Me: THAT'S HOW EARTH WORKS"
"Autocorrect turned your lynch mob into a lunch mob? Maybe if you ate something you wouldn't be so angry."
"A text from my friend. she:myspacebarisnotworking.canyougivemeanalte rnative? me: what is ternative?"
"My better half said period jokes aren't clever So I wound up discarding 3 pages of jokes i had expounded on the Victorian period."
"THERAPIST: Ever had a job? ME: I once worked at a zoo T: Great! & what did you take from that? ME: Definitely not a penguin T: What M: What"
"What do you call a mexican hitchhiker? El Paso"
"No thanks Audi; I get all the uncompromised luxury I can handle by driving whatever car my wife thinks makes me look the most married."