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Joke of the Day

"Emotions are like farts... You can only hold them in for so long."

"My gym instructor says that Warm-Ups are extremely necessary. So, I brought donuts along this time but I can't find the microwave oven."

"Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck? The DOWNS truck is a little slow."

"If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable."

"A wind turbine's friend asks him what music he likes Wind turbine: ""I'm a big metal fan."""

"What do you call a bee that was born in the USA? USB"

"April showers bring May flowers. But what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."

"Why did I rob the bank? For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before."

"An elephant and a camel are chatting at a party The elephant asks ""Why do you have your tits on your back?"" ""YOU KNOW FOR SOMEONE WHOSE DICK IS IN THEIR FACE THAT'S A REALLY STUPID QUESTION!"""

"""Huge hole found growing on surface of Sun"" *drops string cheese* ""This hole is no cause for alarm"" *picks up string cheese*"