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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a nice 12 year old scotch His parents weren't very pleased."

"I was recently asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" was the wrong answer"

"Goodnight, sweet Prince. Rip in peace Prince."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He took a sip of his coffee before it was cool."

"Why can't two elephants go swimming? -They only have one pair of trunks."

"Throwing glass is wrong in some peoples eyes."

"I wish I had the confidence in humanity that Guinness had when they bought a 9,000 year lease."

"Why was the blot of ink so sad? It's mother was in the pen and it didn't know how long the sentence was."

"ad for a wife A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"If you think my status updates are ridiculous, you should see my life choices."