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Joke of the Day

"A woman in labour is screaming at her husband. He says ""Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to put it in your ass."" ""But Nooo, u thought THAT MIGHT HURT!"""

"If the cat's got your tongue, it's your fault. What did you expect, making out with a cat?"

"A bee just landed on my cheek and didn't sting me. I think we're dating now."

"Your momma's so fat... she's diabetic."

"Why did the cat fall into the well? Because he couldn't see that well."

"{Commercial for Floors} Is this you? {footage of man falling endlessly to oblivion}"

"What's the difference between a Black man and a park bench? A Black man is a sentient creature."

"You know you're a total loser when your controversial political post gets zero likes or comments on Facebook."

"What do you call it when you talk to God? Praying. Now what do you call it when God talks to you? Schizophrenia, it's called schizophrenia."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chickpea? I've never paid 50 bucks to have a garbanzo on my face."