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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish poop born out of wedlock? A bass-turd"

"Remember girls, you can't say happiness... without saying penis"

"TRUMP: I'm building a wall to keep Mexicans out. AMERICANS: I'm going to Canada if Trump is elected. CANADIANS: We need to build a wall."

"What the difference between a fridge and a virgina? Fridge don't fart when you take the meat out"

"Asked my Ouija board if I was getting laid tonight. The pointer keeps gliding back and forth between the H and the A. It's been over an hour."

"Saying 'Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?' only works in the movies and not with strangers at Sports Authority"

"Two wrongs don't make a right..... But two Wrights make a plane"

"When someone yells ""Fire!"" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep"

"To the guy who invented Zero... Thanks for nothing!"

"I thought this guy on the subway was yawning. Turns out he was just a mute sitting on a tack."