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Joke of the Day

"Q: What can you do if you don't like the Prelude in C Sharp Minor? A: Turn Rachmanin off."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, glass ceilings don't have light bulbs."

"What do you get when you cross a donkey with a jar of peanut butter? A piece of ass that sticks to the roof of your mouth!"

"What branch of government actually listens to the people? [The NSA !](/spoiler)"

"Watching a film about Princess Diana.. And Diana says ""if we are lucky we will grow old"" and my sister turns around and says bluntly and without a hint of a smile, ""you won't"""

"Gardens (only clean joke I know) Why don't you tell secrets in a garden? Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk."

"*I* actually went through with a threesome. There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."

"I've put something aside for a rainy day. It's an umbrella."

"More retailers should adopt the ""Leave A Penny / Take A Penny"" system. It is literally, common cents."

"How do you cock block two lesbians? With a rock, because rock beats scissors."