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Joke of the Day

"As a muslim, I'm sick of the 9/11 jokes because my parentd died too. They just weren't in the buildings."

"A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says ""I feel cold."" The ghost lingers for years. The bartender grows despondent, lost."

"My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies"

"You can't spell ""Schwarzenegger"" without ""google."""

"What do you call a T-Rex that's been weightlifting all day? Dino-sore"

"Did you know that the new iPhone 5 helps people lose weight? When you pay for it you can't afford to eat for a month."

"On dates, if a man says the past tense of ""see"" as ""I seen"" instead of ""I saw,"" I go to the bathroom and climb out the window."

"Australians don't have sex.. ...they mate."

"GF: ""Can I be frank?"" Me: ""Sure, but I'd be more comfortable if you were a woman."""

"My favorite thing to say when a man offers me a drink is, ""Of course I'll have another...I AM drinking for two, after all!"""