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Joke of the Day
"Senate: Red House: Red Supreme Court: Red President: Orange"
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"Why did the scarecrow earn an achievement award? He was outstanding in his field"
"What did the chopped wood say to the tree? Run!"
"If fire hydrants have H2O inside them, what do they have outside? K9P"
"Once I get tan this summer there's going to be literally only one thing that can stop me: simple carbohydrates"
"Do you love multiple trees? ...No. I'm mahogamous."
"""It's summer! Yay! No more school shootings!"" American children."
"What's the problem with tipped cows? They can't MOOve"
"Keep in mind that ""The Cat in the Hat"" is a lesson to your kids on how to throw a house party when you're gone..."
"There's 4 and a half inches of light snow outside ...or as most the men on Tinder would have me believe, 8 inches and really thick."