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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing."""

"did you know that the earth used to be 100% water? that was until yo momma got thirsty."

"Why does a milking stool have only three legs? Because the cow has the udder!"

"As a child Moses auditioned for his school play but he didn't get the part. Ironic."

"Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day."

"So, Schrodinger walks into a vet with his cat. The nurse takes the cat, goes into the room, and comes out 10 minutes later. ""Sir, we have good news and bad news."""

"Heat or cold Which one travels faster, heat or cold? Heat, because you can catch a cold."

"*Buys map of world, pins it up on wall* *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands* *Visits the middle of the Atlantic Ocean*"

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I've been training my facial muscles to do the nose twitch from Bewitched, and just had a huge breakthrough with the right nostril. Big day."