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Joke of the Day

"[On phone to police] Has there been a report of a pervert in the park? P: No, there hasn't. Me: oh good. [Goes back to hiding in bushes]"

"*4YO and I slo-mo run towards each other* 4: I didn't pee the bed daddy! Me: Me neither! *big hug* It was a big night for both of us."

"A skeleton walks into a bar... He says to the bartender, ""I'm gonna need a beer and a mop."""

"Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled.I laughed at the irony.Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it."

"What do Fort McMurray and a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire have in common? Both are full of white trash and smell like burning oil."

"Is this joke funny? I just made it up! A son walks up to his dad and says...are you a gay buffalo? And the dad looks at him and says, no, I'm bison."

"What did the baby light bulb say to it's mommy? I wuv you watts and watts!"

"Whats worst than a super long joke? A short one with no punchline"

"What do you call 5 black people on a plane? Niggas with altitude"

"What does an asshole and a nine volt battery have in common You know it's a bad idea but your tongue is going to touch it"