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Joke of the Day

"TRUMP: She's too scripted HILLARY (reading from teleprompter): Mr. Trump, (voice steadily rising) Adobe Reader is ready to update"

"What's the opposite of condescending? [gif](http://25.media.tumblr.com/6b1b800af79638830eef30deb8163bbf/tumblr_ms1l531JGu1s29n2zo1_250.gif)"

"If you have a six-pack and a friend drinks five of your beers, what do you have left? One less friend."

"Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves."

"Why do politians hate the term ""mudslinging""? They don't want to get their hands dirty."

"Why did the liberal go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you breath through something so small?"""

"I think my wife is going to bake me some pickle bread! She just got home with a big box and said she would surprise me tonight with her new dill dough."

"When in dangerous situation - you should always sleep with one eye opened. Especially if you're a Cyclops."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They're both stuck up bitches."