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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe that Trump is banning Muslims from the U.S. Like, Syria-sly America?"

"Maybe the Pope just wants to finally get married. Or settle down with a couple of kids."

"Opinions are like orgasms... Mine is more important, and I don't really care if you have one."

"Me as a news anchor: an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties"

"Today is Tax Day. It's going to be a tough day for the few hundred people in the U.S. that are still making an income."

"What's yellow and can't swim A bus full of children"

"Now THAT's what I call music! And THIS? THIS is what I call a movie. Oh & over there? A TV show! Don't even get me started on YouTube videos"

"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people."

"How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh? It weighs *Won-ton*"

"Facebook likes I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."