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Joke of the Day
"Mmmmm.... delicious!"
Next Joke
"i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it's becoming a problem"
"Went on a date with a single mom... It was going well until I told her I didn't care about her kid; I just wanted to play with the box it came in."
"What do you call a person with normal abs in a universe full of fat people Abnormal"
"What do you call a jerk in the space program? Nasshole."
"I wish this cop would stop riding my ass, it makes me paranoid. I also wish he'd turn his sirens off and stop trying to shoot out my tires."
"[party] ME: I'm uncomfortable BF: Just mingle ME: Do I introduce myself? BF: We're at your family reunion"
"What's the easiest way to kill a bison calf. Put it in the back of your SUV."
"How to enjoy babies: 1 Hold them 2 Kiss them 3 Hand them back to their mom 4 Go have drinks with grown ups 5 Laugh about not having a baby"
"Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers? They needed a developer."