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Joke of the Day

"What if the pilgrims had shot a Bobcat instead of a Turkey? (NSFW) We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!"

"I've just text my new girlfriend that I'm into all sorts of douchebaggery. Autocorrect clearly has a different idea on what debauchery is."

"What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg..."

"You see, son, when two girls love each other very much and they have a cup..."

"Not all math puns are bad Just sum"

"It's a do or dive for Robben as Netherlands play Argentina in the semifinals."

"I'm worried, about that one cute sweet innocent girl who keeps liking my fb post."

"Stay away from a place called, ""Farm Fresh Restaurant"". I ordered the chicken soup. A rooster walked up and teabagged his ball$ in a hot bowl of water at my table."

"*calls mom* ""Ma I made 3 friends on twitter today"" *long pause* ""Mom?"" *mom stares at 3 fake twitter accounts she made, fights tears* ""Mom?"""

"Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?"