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Joke of the Day

"[Married pillow-talk] Husband: What's your deepest fantasy? Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don't leave any crumbs under the table."

"Someone called me racist for saying ""black paint"" Apparently the politically correct term is ""Tyrone, please paint the fence""."

"Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say i'm really disappointed."

"What do racists say during sex? ""Hard R! HARD R!"""

"A physicist saw a man standing on a ledge The physicist yelled out ""Don't jump, you have so much potential!"""

"What's the difference between Det. Rust Cohle and a psychopath? Psychopaths are fun at parties."

"On the anniversary of Harambe's death... the Cincinnati Zoo should have special deals all day. Discounts for Harambe."

"I've never had anyone at hello."

"How do you keep a club exclusively for straight edgers? You weed out the rest"

"Dogs can't operate an MRI machine But catscan"