40417

Joke of the Day

"What's similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet? They're both off and running."

"[Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?"

"My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say ""Gotham needs me"""

"I think 50 Cent should run for President in 2020 He's change we can believe in"

"Saw a sign at a gas station earlier that said ""car wash out of order."" So I waxed my car, sprayed it with water and then applied soap."

"If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said ""sorry to Bale on you"" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest."

"Son asks ""Dad, do you die if you lose your head?"" Dad responds ""That is a no-brainer"""

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? He heard they had a tight seal"

"You know how I know it's lunch time? Reddit is slow as fuck"

"Aww, you ""only wish the best for your exes?"" That's cool, I lie about things too."