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Joke of the Day

"in a gay bar WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN SOMEONE FARTS IN A GAY BAR? A: A PICK UP LINE"

"What do you if there is a black out? Make sure your doors are locked and windows bolted shut."

"[1st date] HER: do you like charades? MIME: [thumbs up] HER: well? MIME: [nodding 'yes'] HER: hello? MIME: [shooting self with finger gun]"

"I play in the band I play the circle, it used to be the triangle but I beat the fuck out of it"

"What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind."

"With Hanukkah upon us, how does a Jewish man prepare his tea? Hebrews it."

"Today my boss fondled my genitals! Being self-employed is great."

"Man gets left side crushed in car accident. But don't worry he's all right now"

"Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went it would be Hell."

"Food just tastes better upside-down 1. upside-down cake 2. hamburgers 3. not cereal tho 4. oh no cereal is everywhere 5. why did I do this"