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Joke of the Day

"What's E.T. short for? So he can fit in his spaceship."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you."

"My wife.... ""Thanks to my wife I am now a millionaire!"" ""Wow that's great!"" ""I was a billionaire..."""

"Dominique Strauss-Kahn and his wife are separating after 20 years of marriage due to their busy work schedules and him being a maid raper."

"They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be ""Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."""

"So a giraffe walks into a bar... and says, ""High balls, on me!"""

"What's the most assigned elementary school essay in Chicago? ""What I want to be *IF* I grow up"""

"If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you'll eventually have a sweet flip phone."

"I have swagger. At least, that's what my deodorant says."

"What is a neckbeard's favorite denomination of time? M'llenium"