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Joke of the Day

"Trying to grab a stall after lunch as a male. It's a crap shoot."

"What's the most common blood type among drummers? Heroin."

"I would suggest that Brazil build a bridge and get over it... but given their record...."

"Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him i was married now and that's where i sleep."

"Why does Daredevil worry about getting fat? He never watches what he eats."

"Did you hear about the gay magician? He disappeared with a poof."

"Did you hear about the blonde that tried to enter a weightlifting competition? The judges said ""Sorry, we've got enough dumbbells"""

"Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie? Because it was PG"

"""I was thinking of all the shit I hate, so I made a list of all the shit I hate"" *notices you don't care *adds you to list of shit I hate"

"I've been on my best behavior ever since the words ""you can be charged as an adult"" applied to me"