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Joke of the Day

"the most challenging thing I've done all week is explain to a 4 year old where he was in photos taken 7 years ago"

"if you can get a price tag onto a priceless jewel they have to sell it to you for that price, it's a simply trick that saves on heist work"

"I used to be addicted to soap... i am clean now"

"Just installed the iOS 9 update and I've already noticed a significant increase in my phone's battery life! This is aweso"

"If there weren't any democrats... then who would be left?"

"What kind of bees make milk? Boobies."

"How do you make a horse fast? You take away his food."

"What is the difference between a priest and a zit? A zit wait to come on your face till your 13"

"what do British people say when Satan is on his period? Bloody Hell!!!"

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder? One says, ""hey, you! Get off my cloud!"", and the other one says, ""hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"""