221940

Joke of the Day

"if you can get a price tag onto a priceless jewel they have to sell it to you for that price, it's a simply trick that saves on heist work"

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"So I sadly discovered that username Iloveyouforever has been taken"
"What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite? Funicula"
"3-year-old: Daddy, I love you *hugs me* Me: I love y- Did you wipe your mouth on my shirt? Most of fatherhood is just being a good napkin."
"Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania? Dracula's dentist."
"An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true."
"The difference between shit and oh shit: A boy mistakenly sends a love letter to the brother's girlfriend. Shit! Girlfriend's brother happens to be lesbian. OH SHIT!!"
"I hate when people say 'I died laughing', and don't die."
"*wakes up the guy next to me* wow theres a sleepy boy here on this plane haha. Im on business myself. tryin to see if iceland is made of ice"
"What's the difference. . What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick into a girls mouth."