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Joke of the Day

"Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to ""Unstable"""

"Why did the octopus blush? He'd just seen the bottom of the ocean!!!!"

"I don't know why everyone says quitting smoking is so hard; I've done it hundreds of times."

"Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins? A: A pair of Re-bachs."

"I think one of the toughest parts about growing up is realizing that you don't sweat blue if you drink blue Gatorade."

"Passionate kiss is like spider web leads to undoing of fly."

"This morning I had a shit that was an ornithologists dream.. It was like a thousand sparrows flying out of a hole in a tree."

"Each time my husband yells for the Warriors an angel (me) uses his credit card."

"What do you call a horse that's been all around the world? A globe-trotter!"

"2034. All motivation comes from posters now. People can't even find the strength to poop without seeing italics over a meadow"