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Joke of the Day

"I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

Next Joke
 
"Either I just stepped in dog shit or the stench of my parent's disappointment has started following me around."
"*rubs lamp* Genie: ""you get three wishes"" Me: ""I wish I wasn't so alone"" Genie: ""k wow I'm like right here"""
"Me: You're the only one who truly gets me. Chipotle guy: What? Me: I said chicken. Chicken burrito."
"My Father said: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' So I sent him to a girls boarding school in France."
"Funny jokes for kids http://kids-funny-jokes.blogspot.com"
"What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers!"
"If someone says ""I will do anything for you"" lean in really close and say ""There's a body in my basement and I can't eat it all by myself."""
"Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him..."
"What's another name for semen? (w)Hole Milk!! :D"