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Joke of the Day

"I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"Where did little annie go after the explosion? Everywhere!!"

"Do you, Charles Manson, take this woman who is clearly more insane than you to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today... ...It is already tomorrow in Australia."

"Woke up this morning after a heavy night of drinking to find out that I'd gone bald. Which is strange because normally I go for brunettes."

"Ever hear about the Jesus Bomb? Red bull and merlot"

"What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks? Half calf"

"Sir it would appear that you have sugar poisoning ""You mean Diabetes?"" Ooh look at me, I'm a patient that knows all the diseases ooh"

"that coat doesn't break wind... if it doesn't fart it's not a coat."

"I ordered a pizza. I don't think the guy understood how to get here. Is it free if it's 5 years late?"