219678
Joke of the Day
"I would like to buy a vowel... But they don't take SNAP."
Next Joke
"Michelle Obama puts her secret lovers number in her phone under Ben Ghazi knowing that by doing so Barack will never search for the truth"
"What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny? ""Hey, this looks new!"""
"Did you hear Vladimir Putin made a travel sized Russia? It is the perfect country to Putin your pocket."
"I have the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from the local zoo"
"U2 are one of Ireland's most successful bands. Or according to their tax returns, one of Netherlands' least successful hardware store owners."
"My five-year-old: ""I don't want to be your daughter anymore. I QUIT!"" No two-week notice or anything. She'd better not expect a reference."
"Why was the chessmaster interested in foreign women? He wanted a Czech mate."
"Poached salmon on a bed of brown rice with peas or Roasted duck with polenta and organic green beans? Choosing dog food is hard."
"When you find a body beneath your floorboards is it face up or face down that's good luck?"