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Joke of the Day

"What did grandma say to grandpa while in bed? Keep it up!"

"There's a strong correlation between the amount of pre-made holes in a guy's jeans & his level of douchiness."

"I love my girlfriend, but... My wife hates her!"

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't. That's it. That's the joke."

"If your coffee tastes like mud... It's probably fresh ground..."

"Its terrible how so few black people get nominated for an Oscar It's so sad they're not as talented as white people."

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house.... I said Decepticons... She laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed I shot the toaster we all had a good time."

"""COME ON! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE HOURS AGO! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SHOWERED?"" Noah yelled, waiting for the sloths to get on the Ark"

"How did Popeye keep his tool clean? NSFW He dipped it in Olive Oyl"

"Who died and made you king? Oh the king before you died. Well that makes sen- Oh he was your father. Well then I'm very sorry for your loss."