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Joke of the Day

"My father's kids won't get this... ...love."

"*unrolls blueprints of a dick* no no no this part has got to go. dont know what this does... gone. lets put a ruby here. in the shaft"

"So the presidential debate is tonight. Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast."

"What do you call someone who is sexually attracted to a crocodile? A crocodile!"

"A fun way to ""Break up"" is to tell them to ""Go long"" and then never throw them the football."

"What did the Ukrainian Scientist receive after discovering the dangers of radiation? A Chernobel Prize."

"If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like ""oh yeah this makes sense."""

"Considering ""Thank You"" cards are a thing, I'm going to invent ""No, thank YOU!"" cards and people will send them back and forth forever."

"[OC] Did you hear the one about the douchebag bodybuilder with the anal fissure? He's one ripped asshole."

"Traffic lights are so shy the closer I get to them, the more likely they are to go red"