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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a robber and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch"

"My cat cares about me. LOLZ that's the joke."

"A little Jewish boy asks his Jewish father for 40$... Father: 30$! what do you need 20$ for?!"

"I am the janitor of the World Trade center back in 2001 - AmA Edit: Wow this *blew* up."

"Why didn't the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe!"

"Daddy daddy can I have another glass of water please? But that's the tenth one I've given you tonight! Yes but the baby's bedroom is still on fire."

"Spanish class joke: What did the Spanish cannibals have for dinner? JOHN CENA!! I'm sorry."

"So, a friend of mine claims to be really body-positive, but... ...I saw him comment on a picture of a fat woman in Wal-Mart comparing her to a pachyderm. I told him to stop being so hippo-critical."

"Does anyone know any herbal remedies for worthlessness?"

"What did the fat prostitute say to the skinny prostitute? ""We really should have made better life choices."""