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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between most people and planes? Most people miss the twin towers."

"A man walks by a bar, the sign says ""lobster tail and beer $10"" He goes, what a deal for my 3 favourite things!"

"My priest told me that my inner kid in me is still young... I don't think the inner kid in him is as young as the kid he was in."

"Did you know that if you pull the pin off of grenade and hold it up to your ear You can actually hear the world getting smarter."

"My favorite romantic comedy sub-genre is ""Hugh Grant falls in love with someone for no reason."""

"What scratches the window before it explodes? A baby in a microwave"

"Dear Life...Would you at least start using lubricant...."

"The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would've been like."

"A dog named joke starts playing with his owners. One of the kids throws a ball across the street, the dog goes for it..... A car runs him over, the joke is over."

"Chin up divorced people; lots of us smug married parents envy your 50/50 custody agreement."