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Joke of the Day

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Mars has 2 moons. Venus has no moons. Do you see where I'm getting at? Men, GIVE BACK OUR MOON!"

"There was a girl pushing an suv this morning while the guy steered. Feminists everywhere must be scissoring in victory."

"Your honor, I second that motion Judge: Ma'am, I'm simply reading your husband's request to be cremated"

"When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5? Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak"

"thesaurus had the greatest vocabulary of all the dinosaurs"

"Maybe r/imgoingtohellforthis quality. 4chan ordered Dorner a delivery pizza for Dorner at the cabin, sadly the pizza was burnt when he received it. /leavesroom"

"How are synagogues like lemons? They're full of acidic juice."

"They used to be called Jumpolines until your mom bounced on one back in '72."

"Adele broke my headphones it always says hello from one side (joke stolen)"

"What is the cheapest meat you can buy? Deer balls...because it's under a buck."