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Joke of the Day

"""So, how was your week off ill?"", asked the co-worker to his Scottish counterpart. ""Aye, was okay lad, but it was only a wee cough""."

"Jason's wife Liane wanted something that in 6 seconds goes from 0-200.. So he bought her a bathroom scale. You're fat liane, don't sugar coat it. Because you'll just eat that too."

"I wanted to reserve a copy of a new novel coming out But they were all booked"

"(nsfw)A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says, ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies, ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck."""

"What do you call a tree that does not believe Jesus was the messiah? A Jew-niper"

"I haven't used the computer in my basement since 1994 because the topless jpg. of Pamela Anderson is still downloading."

"Were you raised on a farm? Cause you sure do know how to raise a cock."

"What do you call two doctors with colds? An ironic paradox."

"Cheese shop exploded Thankfully I was only hit by da brie"

"Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps."