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Joke of the Day

"How many dead whores does it take to change a light bulb? More than three, I still can't reach it."

"A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: ""Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live."" The man said: ""Can you do something for me?"" ""Yes,"" he said. ""I'll boil you an egg."""

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? DO IT YOURSELF YOU FILTHY MAN!"

"If two past lovers can remain friends, either they never were in love or they still are."

"I scream, you scream, we all scream because we just witnessed a horrific highway wreck with multiple fatalities."

"Macklemore was pretty far ahead of me in terms of self-awareness. When I was in the third grade I literally thought I might be a thundercat."

"A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole"

"My wife has eczema on her Boobs. She has a cracking pear of Tits."

"Arguing with a greased up Asian... Can be a slippery slope."

"I'm against plastic surgery, but it's also horrifying what people are supposed to really look like."