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Joke of the Day
"Only at Mcdonalds do they say, ""Sorry about your wait"" and really mean ""weight."""
Next Joke
"To catch a woman, one must think like a woman. *places glass of wine, and Channing Tatum dvd on mouse trap"
"My wife is the most beautiful, intelligent person standing right behind me reading my Twitter feed."
"What do crocodiles serve at dinner time? Death rolls"
"""Do you like Tolstoy?"" ""Of course. Who doesn't?"" ""What's your favourite book?"" ""The one where Woody is kidnapped & Buzz tries to save him""."
"Abortion... ...it brings out the kid in you."
"Every time I see Air Tran I think of Air Tranny and then I think of a deep voiced stewardess coming up and saying, ""Nuts?"""
"What do you get if you cross a Fish and an Elephant? Swimming Trunks."
"Four years ago I asked a girl out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."
"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics Even if you win, you're still fucking retarded."