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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an insurance company and an asshole? If you shove money into an asshole at least you can expect to get shit back"

"How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to get up on his high horse and another to chastise the first about oppressing horses."

"(NSFW) What do you call an infected vagina? A pussy pussy."

"Can gorillas swim? No."

"A girl called me the other day and said, ""Come on over, nobody's home""... I went over. Nobody was home"

"If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods... But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"I'm going to open a frozen pizza shop It's called ""Pizza By the Ice."""

"I lost my job... I got fired from my job at the M&M's factory yesterday for throwing away all the W's."

"How do you tell if your scrotum is ticklish? Give it a couple test tickles"

"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words Stop shaking the ladder, you little bastard!"