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Joke of the Day

"Why does it take 2 feminists to screw in a lightbulb? One to screw in the lightbulb and one to give me a blow job while I supervise."

"While we still don't know the motivations or the thought process behind the Boston Bombings I think it's safe to say that the perpetrators are racists."

"I once went to an open air Queen concert. It was good, but there was a terrible electrical storm during the set Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening..."

"What did sushi A say to sushi B? WASSA-B!!!"

"People wonder why I call my toilet ""the Jim"" instead of ""the John"" I do it so I can say ""I go to the Jim first thing every morning"""

"Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is to move the Elf on the Shelf"

"My boss told me, ""you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"" I replied, ""I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"""

"What do you call a row of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hairline!"

"I didnt just read it I Reddit"

"The president of a popular mail-order business just died. The funeral will be held in 3 - 5 business days."