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Joke of the Day
"religious? why yes i'm very religious, i'm always reading [glances at bible] the beeblay"
Next Joke
"Other uses for chloroform 1) A great conversational piece when talking to the cops about using it 2) Make the day go by faster 3) And finally, as a reagent."
"How do you kill a hipster? Drown him in the Mainstream."
"Him: Wanna bump uglies, baby? Me: Ooh, yes please! * Grabs two ugly people and starts smacking them against each other. *"
"A WASP LANDED ON MY BARE FOOT AND NOW I KNOW HOW TO RIVERDANCE."
"I wish I loved anything as much as middle aged white women love sharing pictures of words written in sand."
"What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian? A half decent person."
"To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run"
"I like my women like I like my coffee."
"Humans: we're not like snakes Also Humans: mmmm eggs"