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Joke of the Day

"GAME SHOW IDEA: Man hands wife his phone. If he can let her look at it for 60 secs without looking uncomfortable, he wins a billion dollars."

"While Facebook was down I walked up to coworkers & just said 'unfriend' or 'like' & walked away then poked 17 people before I got arrested."

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you. Iv got an ear infucktion. Better assk again."

"A Roman walk into a bar A Roman walks into the bar, hold up 2 fingers and say '5 beer please'"

"My walls are closing in. Crawling in my skin my Cell walls are closing in? HELP!"

"You know what's odd about those girls at Starbucks? They, like, literally can't, even."

"I invented a new word. Plagiarism. --- EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you."

"How do you make a cat woof? soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!"

"So I walked into a pub with some of the lads... Oh wait hang on I don't have a social life."

"What was Spiderman's major in college? Web Design"