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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that mathematician who only used furniture made out of clocks? He loved his times tables."

"Would you like to know the best way to avoid drama? Just stop going to plays!"

"If you watch the movie Twister backwards it's the story of friendly tornados saving lives, rebuilding destroyed towns and playing with cows."

"It creeps me out when my dog watches my wife and I have sex. We hide the videotapes, but he always finds them."

"I was going to buy a hairpiece... ... But it was too much toupee."

"Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. Ok, fine, mannequin. But she doesn't talk much and I like that."

"Why did the cow return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back."

"My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids. But I laugh more."

"What is Hodor's favorite cereal? Raisin Bran."

"These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did."