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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that mathematician who only used furniture made out of clocks? He loved his times tables."

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"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the bulb has to be large enough."
"So.. this pickup line works Knock Knock. Who's there? Sex with. Sex with who? Sex with me!"
"Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit's dick."
"I tried to sell Ikea my new range of combat furniture. It wasn't going well, so I decided to chair the meeting. A couple of minutes later, it was all-out wardrobe."
"Fox News' slogan is ""Fair and Balanced"". That's it. That's the joke."
"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: Actually it's just emotional comfort after years of being toget- WIFE: *packing* I'll be at my mothers"
"What was the name of the knight who sat all the way around the Round Table? Sir Cumference."
"Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations? Santa Clues."
"All the gingers I know have pretty good morals... I guess you can't really sell your soul to the devil when you don't have one to begin with."