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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a gorilla and a guillotine? No one gets their dick out for a guillotine"

"The bible says any man who lies with a man should be taken out and stoned, so I took all my gay friends out and got them wasted."

"Jesus: My God, why have you forsaken me? God: Lighten up drama queen."

"""To be and not to be"" ~ Schrodinger's Hamlet"

"Adding Up by Juan & Juan"

"How long do I have to sleep before I'm legally a bear?"

"So If the Pope shits in a toilet.... Does that make it holy shit? Aaaand thats my shitpost for the day."

"A wine tasting? Where people SPIT OUT precious wine?! Sure, maybe we could go to the humane society and watch them put puppies to sleep too."

"My friend Dave drowned yesterday his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted."

"How do you recycle a condom Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."