67934

Joke of the Day

"Prince: ""The slipper fits! You're the girl I met!"" Girl: ""I wasn't even at the ball. This is a common shoe size."" Prince: ""YOU'RE THE GIRL!"""

"Friend: [rubs my shoulder] Aw, honey, your life isn't over. It's just beginning! Me: *sobs even harder"

"My 21yr old son: ""Mom sometimes I think you only had me for the free, lifetime tech support"" *slow wink*"

"My dick is good at math. What I'm trying to say is that it's the small things that count."

"I hope Hell freezes over soon. A few women have promised me dates when it happens."

"Are you Greek (If No) are you sure cause you look like a goddess to me?"

"""Dad, these glasses make everything look much bigger!"" *Snatches glass and hands to my wife"

"*rings doorbell* hmm... not sure if it rang *waits 2 hours before ringing again so I don't seem impatient*"

"How many Australians have been killed by Ebola? Just one, Phillip Hughes"

"Your Mother.. Your mother is so classless she could be marxist utopia."