35674

Joke of the Day

"So far my favorite part about being pregnant is telling people I'm not pregnant when they ask when I'm due."

"New Thesaurus I bought a new thesaurus, it's terrible. It's also terrible."

"""You haven't listened to a word I've said."" Strange way for my girlfriend to start a conversation."

"I want my next apartment to be located inside a Whole Foods."

"Two kinds of girls There are two kinds of girls in the world: Girls with big tits...and girls that get in the way when I'm trying to look at 'em !!"

"Why do noses run and feet smell?"

"Stop making jokes about noses It snot funny"

"Dear waiter, You messed up my order because you didn't write it down. I employed your strategy while calculating the tip. Love, David"

"When my girlfriend and I decided to make it official, I told her: I have to tell you, before we met, I was... well...promiscuous. Oh cool she exclaimed. I love Greek mythology."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the one that had a dream got shot!"