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Joke of the Day
"If you have a family member you that you never want to see again, loan them some money."
Next Joke
"What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your T.V? His brother holding the VCR."
"What's my favorite Jewish star wars character? Jewbacca"
"Dolly Parton and Princess Diana Go To Heaven"
"My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings: 1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking"
"We should have known communism would fail In hindsight there were a lot of red flags"
"What did the fish have to pay to get past the coral reef? Atoll."
"[on a first date] ""Have [gestures across the whole menu] whatever you want. I hear the McRib is particularly excellent this time of year."""
"[meeting] BOSS: We need a name that gives us a good ad slogan ME: Perhapselline? MY NEMESIS GARY: Maybelline? B: You're incredible, Gary"
"Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date? Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough."