105702

Joke of the Day

"[meeting] BOSS: We need a name that gives us a good ad slogan ME: Perhapselline? MY NEMESIS GARY: Maybelline? B: You're incredible, Gary"

"Is your dad retarded? Because you're something special"

"What did the Rastafarian say to his lady friend? Jamaican me crazy!!"

"Nude Descending a Staircase is both my favorite work of art and the most common entry on my criminal records."

"Big sunglasses are an ugly girl's best friend."

"Lying on my bed struggling to squeeze into jeans The dog comes in to show emotional support ... followed by the cat, who came to judge."

"My MOM Says Life is A Race Life iS A Tragedt When SeeN In CloSE-UP, LONG-SHOT. To Truly Laugh, You Must be Able to Take Your PAIN, And PLAY With iT!"

"What do you do when you're racist and all the immigrants exhaust you? You kip."

"My favourite machine at the gym is the television."

"mom: no TV for a week! dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub *sons jaw drops* mom: [whispers] nice"