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Joke of the Day

"Daughter: Here you go! Me: You're my favorite. Son: Yesterday, you said I was your favorite! Me: Yesterday, you were closest to the remote."

"What's the best gift you can buy at Christmas? A broken drum, you can't beat it."

"Why do dogs make good sailors? They know their knots."

"How do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea."

"""Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?"" ""He didn't do his 1st grade homework."""

"Donald trump wants to run for president, Why not? Wouldn't be the first time he's pushed a black family out of their home. (Snoop Dogg - /u/Here_Comes_The_King )"

"Why do seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper makes them sneeze."

"Why do you have to take two Baptists with you when you go fishing? Answer: Because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer."

"What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp? Well, that was an unexpected twist!"

"Two gentlemen walk into a bar.... You would have thought one of them would have seen it."