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Joke of the Day

"ME: *falls into gorilla enclosure* GORILLA: [in sign language] I have a boyfriend."

"Why is it called ""Alien vs Predator""? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it ""Some Aliens"""

"I'm not John Madden, just John Disappointeden."

"The virgin I like my men like I like my sci-fi movies... to boldly go where no man has gone before!"

"Did you hear about that hippie superhero who could make tulips and daffodils grow just by sprinkling baking ingredients on them? He said it was his self raising flour power."

"What's the best way to start an underwear presentation? Start with a brief introduction."

"Me (said to my friend over the phone): ""Is it just me... ...or is someone walking behind me""? Friend: ""No, it's just you""."

"Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,... why don't you ever smile in my pictures?"

"Screwdriver walks into a bar Bartender says hey man we have a drink named after you? The screwdriver asks ""you have a drink named Steve?"""

"What's the difference between a woman and a volcano? One is ash and gas, the other gash and ass..."