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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday was a unique day: half the US voters made the wrong choice. The other half did, too."

"Why does Highlander 2 exist? There can only be one."

"No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II. I mean, there were red flags everywhere."

"My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis."

"There's way too much blood in my alcohol system today"

"What happens when you double park your frogs? They get toad!"

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards of boats If they fell forwards they would be on the boat"

"What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A yardvark!"

"What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar? I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there"

"What do making love in a canoe and Budweiser have in common? Both are fucking close to water."