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Joke of the Day

"one day a soda can got crushed The next day it went to his therapist and said I'm sodapressed"

"How easy is it to stroll along on pies? Well, it's no cakewalk."

"Why couldn't the homosexual Irishman with an oral fixation order at the restaurant? He only spoke gaelic"

"The American Presidential Campaign is a lot like the new Mac. **There is no escape.**"

"Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite? It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi."

"A businessman comes into work distraught, wearing a bloody suit.NSFW A coworker asks him, ""What happened to your tie?"" He responds, ""I had to kill that whore because she had a freaking dick."""

"I still remember the day the dentist removed my braces. My trousers fell down and he molested me."

"The woman next to me on this roller-coaster won't stop screaming and shouting. It's like she's never seen a man trimming his pubes before!"

"There once was a man named Brent He made poems wherever he went The poems were fine But on the very last line He added too many syllables"

"Proud of myself. I only ate 1 brownie today. I mean, it was cut up into 8 very large pieces and took up the whole pan but yeah, 1 brownie."